Not enough TIME

Am I the only person that feels guilty when I have a morning to myself? I've been looking forward to this weekend for weeks, mostly because it's one of the only weekends this whole summer that I didn't have anything planned (a trip, the cottage, family in town, etc). The problem is, it didn't stay un-scheduled for long. Take today for instance. I started out with the whole day free, to do whatever I felt like. Now it's going on noon, and pretty soon Jen and Jules are coming over, then later tonight we're all going out to dinner downtown with Laura and the gang. Don't get me wrong, I really want to see my friends, I've missed them desperately for about the past month. But I also had about 3 or 4 other possible activities for the day that I had to turn down, let alone if it was sunny out I would really want to be outside. I hate saying no to people, but I also really need to have time for myself.

I'm just struggling today with the concept of time. Mostly that there never seems to be enough of it. On top of working full-time, going to grad school (which is not only going to class but all the homework on top of that), and coaching a team, I also work out every day, have incredible friends (who all have similar busy schedules at least), and a boyfriend who I love to spend time with (although I'm not sure he believes that sometimes). Not to mention my family, who I also love to be around. I love all of these things, and that's why I feel guilty so often. I WANT to hang out with Bev more often, I WANT to have one-on-one time with my friends, I WANT to be able to go home and just hang out in Jenison for the day like I used to. I just don't feel like I'm ever giving enough of my time to any one thing. There's also more I'd like to do (like volunteer, complete extra projects around the house, etc), but I can't even begin to think about adding those things to the schedule.

I know it sounds like I'm having a pity party. I know I'm not the only busy person in the world. I just feel guilty sometimes because I am neglecting people that care about me, or really great things that I would love to do. But bless my Mom's heart- she gave me the best advice this morning- "sometimes you just have to have some time for yourself, and you shouldn't feel bad about that." Thank you Mom, you always seem to make me feel better. Now I'm going to go read my book, because gosh darn it- I can!!